Right after Rhiannon turned two, Jake and I planned and became pregnant. At ten weeks (New Year's Eve, to be exact) we discovered not one, but two miscarried fetuses, and I spent weeks hollow and tortured by the idea of my lost babies. Six weeks later, I became pregnant again, again with two fetuses, and only one survived- her name is Morgan. When Lucas came along, I think jake and I were both shocked to realize there was only one baby, and for quite a long time, we thought ourselves finished as breeders. But in October of 2007, we both came to the realization that we were not done, and tried once...and succeeded in getting pregnant a fifth time. At three weeks, my mother called to tell me of a premonitory dream she had, in which I had twins. I scoffed at her vision and assured her it was only one. For weeks, I saw my obgyn and as my stomach began to expand in truly amazingly warped speeds, I hinted that perhaps my mother was a seer after all. The obgyns waved me away when I asked the first time if they could hear two heart beats. "It's not twins", they asserted. And I believed. Sort of. Then, at ten weeks, when I started weraring maternity pants and Jake began rubbing the bump, as he does when I become buddha-esque, I really became intrigued. "Could you please measure my uterus? I feel like the fundus is quite high, and I am already showing", I said at mt 12 week checkup. My obgyn once again said, "It's not twins", as though I had suggested that my bump was, in fact, a Jeep rather than a fetus. So I left it alone, and Jake and I coasted through the next six weeks of intense growth, and pretended it was merely because it was a fourth baby stretching me thin. I started feeling the flutters of movement, like wildly caged Monarch Butterflies, eager for flight through the great meadow of life, and I pondered the oddity of feeling movement both at my navel and by my rib cage at such an early stage in the pregnancy.
At 18 weeks, a solidly 8 month along- looking Kerensa walked into the ultrasound room for the first time, and the tech said( before even saying hello) "How far along are you???" To which I answered truthfully, and she eyed my belly dubiously. She swung the wand along my stomach, and a gleeful little Lucas, who was beside me clutching legos, pointed at the screen and announced "Those are my brothers!" And sure enough, they were.
Nolan and Liam are now 9 months along...though surely it was only yesterday that I frantically snapped photo after photo of their funny little naked bodies that so resembled Perdue chickens. They have each come into their own personalities. Nolan tends to be louder and more aggressive, but also more sensitive and needy. Liam, though tiny and thin, is quicker,more joyful and more independent. Nolan is almost a solid head taller than Liam, and has intensely warm hazel eyes. Liam has piercing blue eyes, even more so than his sister or his father, and wispy blonde hair. At times, having twins is exhausting, especially when with their older siblings. Nursing them is more intense, changing them requires more patience, and certainly getting them to bed can be a challenge. But the joys of watching their interaction is unparallel to any other experiences I have had. It is not an exaggeration to say I could watch them for hours, exploring each other, and even separately, moving about the house like funny little zombies. While a parent may became overjoyed at a baby's first crawl, or first tooth, to have it happen to two different babies within a week, it becomes breathtaking. There is such a sense of cosmic awe at twins. They have known each other since the zygote stage, since conception....they are no more related to each other than to their other siblings, and yet they will forever be bonded in a way other siblings cannot be. They will forever share a birthday, and perhaps clothing, and it is with a bit of envy that Jake and I watch this unfold, as both of us were far spaced from our own siblings.
We are a bit of a spectacle in public, as if we had spawned aliens or the aforementioned Jeeps. People crawl out of the woodwork to ask questions, give me props or sympathy, or to relay their own multiples stories. I have been asked if the babies were from In Vitro, as well as being told "after this many, you would think you would know how to stop yourself". People are convinced they are identical, though really the eye color, size and weight should be a clue otherwise. (though I do dress them alike for the extra cute factor)
The other day, the boys found a yellow cup, and what began as a simple tug of war over it, became a teasing fest that caused the three older kids to double over with laughter. Little Liam would play psych repeatedly, yanking the cup away from Nolan after offering it pleasantly, and then holding the cup over his head triumphantly, like a little fedora, and cackling wildly with his six tiny teeth perfecting the picture. Today in the bath, they shared the shampoo bottle, passing it back and forth like offering a peace pipe, and happily grinning and grunting at each other.
My ninety two year old uncles are twins. They raised their children together, lived together, went to OTB and lunch every day for years, and at times, they only have to sit next together without saying a word, to communicate. From the back of their tiny little heads, Nolan and Liam resemble the little old men. I can only hope that the next ninety years of their life will see them be just as close as my uncles, and perhaps even still dressed in matching sweater vests.
At 18 weeks, a solidly 8 month along- looking Kerensa walked into the ultrasound room for the first time, and the tech said( before even saying hello) "How far along are you???" To which I answered truthfully, and she eyed my belly dubiously. She swung the wand along my stomach, and a gleeful little Lucas, who was beside me clutching legos, pointed at the screen and announced "Those are my brothers!" And sure enough, they were.
Nolan and Liam are now 9 months along...though surely it was only yesterday that I frantically snapped photo after photo of their funny little naked bodies that so resembled Perdue chickens. They have each come into their own personalities. Nolan tends to be louder and more aggressive, but also more sensitive and needy. Liam, though tiny and thin, is quicker,more joyful and more independent. Nolan is almost a solid head taller than Liam, and has intensely warm hazel eyes. Liam has piercing blue eyes, even more so than his sister or his father, and wispy blonde hair. At times, having twins is exhausting, especially when with their older siblings. Nursing them is more intense, changing them requires more patience, and certainly getting them to bed can be a challenge. But the joys of watching their interaction is unparallel to any other experiences I have had. It is not an exaggeration to say I could watch them for hours, exploring each other, and even separately, moving about the house like funny little zombies. While a parent may became overjoyed at a baby's first crawl, or first tooth, to have it happen to two different babies within a week, it becomes breathtaking. There is such a sense of cosmic awe at twins. They have known each other since the zygote stage, since conception....they are no more related to each other than to their other siblings, and yet they will forever be bonded in a way other siblings cannot be. They will forever share a birthday, and perhaps clothing, and it is with a bit of envy that Jake and I watch this unfold, as both of us were far spaced from our own siblings.
We are a bit of a spectacle in public, as if we had spawned aliens or the aforementioned Jeeps. People crawl out of the woodwork to ask questions, give me props or sympathy, or to relay their own multiples stories. I have been asked if the babies were from In Vitro, as well as being told "after this many, you would think you would know how to stop yourself". People are convinced they are identical, though really the eye color, size and weight should be a clue otherwise. (though I do dress them alike for the extra cute factor)
The other day, the boys found a yellow cup, and what began as a simple tug of war over it, became a teasing fest that caused the three older kids to double over with laughter. Little Liam would play psych repeatedly, yanking the cup away from Nolan after offering it pleasantly, and then holding the cup over his head triumphantly, like a little fedora, and cackling wildly with his six tiny teeth perfecting the picture. Today in the bath, they shared the shampoo bottle, passing it back and forth like offering a peace pipe, and happily grinning and grunting at each other.
My ninety two year old uncles are twins. They raised their children together, lived together, went to OTB and lunch every day for years, and at times, they only have to sit next together without saying a word, to communicate. From the back of their tiny little heads, Nolan and Liam resemble the little old men. I can only hope that the next ninety years of their life will see them be just as close as my uncles, and perhaps even still dressed in matching sweater vests.
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